Today (2026-07-07) I had a bad reaction because of the upcoming trial, some problems, that one of my old employers made.
Note to readers:
I won’t disclose who he is, or what is the company name, as I said in my previous post, and the one before related to it. I’ve already have the reasons for that on the previous post.
What happened, problems?
I had almost a panic attack due to not being able to handle the news of a new trial, even when I know that I’ll win. The employer, in the past made things hard for me. Fighting in the past to prove that I wasn’t at fault. The old case that I’ve won, that I proved that this employer was lying to the court and that my job termination was unlawful, made me enter in a brain meltdown. Now every time I think about the old case or the new one, it causes me to have problems, with severe anxiety and that might be very bad to my mental and physical.
Known mental, but physical problems?
A while ago, my physiatrist, made me do some hearth exams, and in them it was discovered the following:
- I have reduced cardiac function.
- I have a wall of my hearth that is too thin.
- I may have the hearth coronary desease.
The last point it has a strong chance to be true since both my parents have it.
Since the first two points already are bad for an person that has severe anxiety, the last one might trigger a heart attack. Needless to say that I had to take my emergency medication to control my anxiety due to having arrhythmias.
I don’t want to die due to lies that someone said to cause me to need to fight in court for my innocence, again, while this someone only said lies to them.
I want to live a long and happy life. I want to last enough for finding a wife, having kids, having grandkids. But if this continues I don’t know if my body and if my mind are able to handle it all, even with being innocent.
Good things come from the heart
Fortunately I found a new job, recently, and my bosses and coworkers are great people, I can’t praise them enough. I’ll update the job part of my site when everything is settled and I officially have the contract in my hands.
Today, my bosses saw that I was in a bad shape and told me to take my meds and to breathe a while in the resting area of my workplace. They are truly good people. I had that impression when I met them and today, if I needed any confirmation, my evaluation of them was correct.
I don’t have any problems at my work, if I need help I can rely on my coworkers and my bosses, and, like it was in Camara Municipal de Ponta Delgada, o truly enjoy to work in this company. I enjoy helping customers, I enjoy stocking, I enjoy everything. Every time I go to work I always have a smile on my face, not because I’m forced to, but because I truly enjoy working on this company.
Past reminders and past and current problems
I know that I can’t bring to work past problems, or future problems. But sometimes, something in my mind triggers and those problems appear in my mind like a movie. I have not learned to make the past or something on the present trigger this thing.
I’m always trying my best to separate my life, like if I’m working, to think only about that, if I’m home to think about the rest of the stuff I have to sort through in my head. But I cannot, at least yet, fully be immersed in the current social interactions.
I have to find a way to disconnect from the problems that arise externally and to deal with them only when it’s the occasion to think about. But life it’s not that easy to handle but we as humans, at least me if I’m the only one that goes through this problems, must learn to handle day to day problems and leave the side things.
Final thoughts
I know that I may have underdeveloped social and mental skills and I’m trying my best to solve them. But unfortunately I can’t control external factors that influence my day to day life. Especially when someone is trying to ruin your reputation, name and word criminally.
